Bullet Points and Some Pics

Things have been a little crazy, busy here, but good so here are some bullet points:

• My six week post-op appt went good. I started bleeding even more a few days after my appt and had to go back in to get my hemoglobin checked and have an u/s. My OB thinks that I started bleeding heavily because I already got my period since my lining was 11. I had to be put on 10mg of pro.ges.terone to decrease the bleeding. I am feeling much better.
• The little monkeys have been doing well on the Zan.tac, but we need to keep adjusting their dosage since they are gaining weight like crazy.
• Caden had his first mild ear infection last week. He woke up with green crusty stuff in his eye and I thought it could have been pink eye, but his eyes weren't bloodshot. I brought him to the pediatrician and they found fluid in his left ear. The infection was seeping out thru his poor little eyes. He didn't have a fever and wasn't fussy at all so I had no other indication that he had an ear infection.
• Both boys failed their hearing screen at the hospital when they were born. We were referred to an ENT clinic for another screen when they turned six weeks old. We went there last week and they both failed again. They do have hearing in their ears, but to what extent we are not sure. They stir when they hear loud noises so we know they are not deaf. The ENT referred us to their clinic downtown for a more in-depth hearing screen that will take 1-3 hours for each boy. He said that most little ones pass this more conclusive test and reassured us that boy boys can hear, but we need to determine the level at which they can hear. Their appointments for this test are in a couple of weeks.
• Last weekend I was able to get away to go scrapbooking. DH is a super star and stayed home with the little monkeys so that I could get away, get rejuvenated, get a good nights sleep and recharge my batteries. My dad took Logan over night one night and my BIL took Logan over night the second night so that DH only had to focus on the over night feedings with the little monkeys and sleep in after their early morning feeding and not worry about what time Logan would be getting up for the day. I had a great time with my sis, mom and my scrappin' group and was able to get started on Caden and Colton's albums.
• My nanny has come to watch the kids two times in the last two months, for just two hours each time. She is AMAZING! She walks in my house and picks up a baby and starts feeding them or cuddling them. When DH and I came home from dinner the other night both babies were resting peacefully and she and Logan were building things with Leg.os. I can't wait until she is here with us two days/week starting in June so that I can devote time to work and also be around my boys during the day.

And here are some pics of my little monkeys.

Colton



Caden



Caden and Colton



Caden and Colton


Enjoy!

C-section Recovery...What's That??

This Wednesday I will go to my six week post-op appointment with my OB. I can hardly believe that is has been almost six weeks since my boys entered this world and my dream came true! This past six weeks have been bliss, but also challenging. Bliss in that is has been wonderful to feel like my family is finally complete at this time, but challenging because having two babies is a lot to adjust to.

DH and I were talking the other day about how much we love our three boys and how thankful we are to have each of them. After one particular tiring day and night I told DH that I love them all, but would have been happy to have just one baby but that we hit the jackpot and got two. Even though we hit the jackpot and got TWO babies, it has also been a lot of work--not complaining, just sayin'.

My DH has been an amazing help (as he should be!!) and because it is the winter time he has only been working about 20 hours per week. This has allowed him to be home more during the day and to bring Logan to his various activities so that I don't have to trudge the babies out in the cold frozen tundra that is Minnesota. We have also had the opportunity to tag team and be productive in making sure that meals are made, laundry is done and our three small children are being tended to. We have even ventured out for "Family Fun Days" to break up the monotony of winter and bring Logan on adventures.

Last night DH and I were talking before we went to bed about my c-section and the recovery. My incision has not broken open, but in the last week there is a spot that has been really tender to the touch and has been causing me quite a bit of discomfort. I am starting to wonder if I may have broken open a stitch internally or if I rubbed that part of my incision the wrong way somehow and it is causing this irritation. I told DH that having a c-section with twins is equivalent to going in for surgery (any major surgery) and having to go back to work four days later with triple the work load. Sure, I have been able to take a couple of naps and my DH has been really helpful, but that's pretty much it. We have had virtually no other help from anyone. In hindsight, perhaps I wish we would have hired a night nurse to come two nights per week or some other day time help, but we didn't and the people who offered to help us have never quite materialized at my front door. But, you know what? It's okay. I may not be Super Woman, but I sure as heck can hold my own when dealing with my four boys (yes, on occasion my husband can be considered one of the boys I need to take care) and I am hoping that in just a few short weeks Caden and Colton will drop one of their night time feedings so that we will all be getting some continuous hours of sleep soon.

For those that have sent beautiful gifts, given verbal moral support and have dropped off meals- to you we are eternally grateful! People have come out of the woodwork to make our lives just a wee bit easier and oh, the beautiful gifts we have received that we never anticipated! We have gotten several personalized blankets and bath towels, a diaper cake, outfits and more outfits, an edible fruit arrangement and a beautiful hydrangea bouquet.

And to the strangers who we have encountered while out and about- no, we haven't gotten any help, but somehow we are doing it on our own and I am so proud of the bond that DH and I have strengthened by pulling together to "git r done".

Quick Quote

I saw this on a FB of a gal I know who was a surrogate for a friend of mine. I sure hope she doesn't mind that I am stealing it and posting it here, but thought is was so fitting for the friends I have lost while going through IF.

I'm selfish, impatient, & a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control,
& at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

Tubal Adhesions

My intuition always told me that my previous c-section was a contributing factor in our inability to conceive again.

When DH and I started TTC #2 over 3.5 years ago we had no idea what our journey would
entail. After having Logan via emergency c-section in December 2004, we anticipated that we would be adding to our family in no time. After several months of TTC #2 we went to a fertility clinic, did some IUIs, went to two more fertility clinics and did some IVFs. At each of the three fertility clinics we went to we asked each RE if my previous c-section could be a factor or the reason for our difficulty in TTC again. The collective response from all three REs was, "No", my previous c-section would not be a reason for the difficulty we were having in TTC.

By this time, we had figured out that my DH had low sperm counts and morphology and by doing IVF we were bypassing the thought that my previous c-section would be a factor in TTC because my embryos were being placed directly into my uterus. But what about that scar tissue from my c-section? And with my good response to stims with IUIs and IVF cycles that created lots of little good quality eggs, why were we still having difficulty conceiving?

After my c-section with Caden and Colton my OB told me that she found adhesions on my tubes. She "cleaned them up" for me and made sure that everything else looked okay before she stitched me back up. After learning of the adhesions I asked her, "Where could I have gotten them from? Could they have come from my previous c-section". She said that she didn't know for sure, but that she would guess that they did indeed come from my previous c-section.

Now, I am not saying that my inability to conceive again solely lies on the fact that I had tubal adhesions. We did have sperm issues and I had implantation issues with our previous four IVF transfers. BUT, my intuition all along told me that my previous c-section was somehow connected to our IF.

The question that I wonder is this: if I didn't have the adhesions on my tubes, could we have saved ourselves years of IF (and all of the blood, sweat and tears that go along with IF)? If I had known that I had adhesions could I have had them removed and then conceived with the help of stims and IUI (due to the sperm issues)? Oh, the What Ifs!

One thing is for certain: The 3.5 years that it took for me to hold Caden and Colton in my arms was worth it. As much as I would like to change the IF path/journey we traveled, there is no way in hell I would trade my boys for anything.

So Big! and a Conversation With Logan

Yesterday we had to make a trip to the pediatrician. Caden and Colton were doing fairly well on the Zantac until this past weekend when they started showing more signs of discomfort, difficulty breathing and just an overall fussiness. I called on Monday, but the nurse advised me that the doctor would want to see them this time so that we could go over some options to help ease their discomfort.

When we went in we did the usual "weigh in" for the boys. At their two week appointment they both weighed 7# 3oz. Just two weeks later, here are their stats:

Caden: 8# 15oz
Colton: 9# 6oz

I can't believe that my little boys are growing so fast! DH and I started laughing at how much they have gained in the last two weeks. Logan was the same way as a baby too. Even though he was spitting up more than Caden and Colton do (Caden and Colton tend to swallow their spit up once it comes back up) he was always good at gaining weight. I lovingly referred to him as my "chunky monkey" as a baby.:)

The pediatrician increased their Zan.tac dosage according to their weight and told us that if we don't see an improvement in 7-10 days that we could call him and he would call in a prescription for Prev.a.cid or Pri.lo.sec for them to see if one of these works better for them than the Zan.tac. DH and I were both happy with this plan and are hoping that our boys get some relief from their discomfort soon.

Last night Logan and I had a cute conversation about him and his brothers:

Me: What do you think about your brothers being here?
Logan: AWESOME!
Me: What do you think when they cry?
Logan: Well...it's just kind of annoying. I don't like when they cry.
Me: I know it can be annoying, but you know that is the only way that they know how to "talk" us, right?
Logan: Yes, I know.
Me: And you know that Mommy and Daddy are the only ones who can try to soothe them. If you ever want to give them something like a blanket or hug or kiss them you have to get our permission, right? (I was just reminding him even though we have not had one issue with this)
Logan: I know, Mommy. Because the brothers are really fragile, right?
Me: Yes, they are very fragile.
Logan: Like one million times more fragile.
Me: Yes, one million more times fragile than a piece of glass. Just like you are one million more times fragile.
Logan: I'm not fragile.
Me: Yes, you are. Mommy and Daddy love you and Caden and Colton so much that if anything ever happened to you we would be so, so sad. We love you all so much.
Logan: I love you too, Mom.
Me and Logan: (Big SMOOCH)

Is it possible to fall in love with your five year old over and over again? :)