Yesterday I was telling Miss M, our nanny, the story of how Caden and Colton were conceived. She got all of the details and it was probably more than she bargained for when she innocently asked, "when you had Caden and Colton was there a chance that you could have had more babies?'
As I recounted the story of our many failed IVF cycles and the one successful cycle that brought me my Little Monkeys I was moved to tears. It was so bittersweet to go back and recount some of the most painful moments of my life and then in the next breath to recount some of the most happy moments. When I told her how I received the call from the clinic that I finally was pregnant and had an HCG level I was moved to tears just reliving that moment and she was too. What a journey! It still takes my breath away.
After I was done telling her the story she said that it was amazing that DH and I are still happily married because she knows that IF can tear a marriage apart. I completely agree! I explained to her that when I married my husband I knew that I loved him, but I didn't know how much I loved him until we experienced IF. I told her that each day I tell all of my boys how much I love them and I try to live each day as one filled with joy and thankfulness and not as a "to do" list. Yes, there are many things to do each day and my days are filled, sometimes too much, but my biggest project is to love my four boys to pieces. And, the smallest things that my DH does for me give me the greatest amount of happiness.
Not only was it good to relive our IF journey and share our story with Miss M, she, a fertile gal as far as I know, "got it". She shared tears and laughter with me and an amazing amount of support for the IF journey we had, which is downright PRICELESS! It was so fun to tell our story to someone who "got it". Did I mention that she "got it"? WOOHOO!!