Monday, August 31, 2009

Looking for a Nanny

[side note: thank you all so much for the wonderful advice on my last post! For now, I have decided to just let the message I left for D stand. I saw her MIL at the grocery store last week and chatted with her for awhile. I mentioned that D had sent me a card and that I called her and left a message for her, but that I have not heard back. I know that she will tell D that she saw me and am almost certain she will tell her what I said. I will also being seeing D and her family this week when we attend our kids pre-school back-to-school open house. I will also be seeing her at the end of September for our kids fundraiser for their pre-school. Whether or not we actually talk at these events will remain to be seen. I am just going to "go with the flow" and see what happens, if anything.]

DH and I have been talking about hiring a nanny to work 2 days/week after the babies are born. Since we are both self-employed and I work from our home office, we figured it would be a better solution to have someone come to our house rather than hauling all three of our children to another location.

I also think it would be a huge benefit to be able to see my children during the day and to be able to lend a hand to the nanny when the babies may be crying or fussing a lot. I also want the opportunity to bring L on play dates without the babies so he can get some friend and mommy time without his siblings. I am also hoping to get some errands done on the days that the nanny comes too (how do you grocery shop with two infants and a 5 yr old anyways?).

So, in short I will be cramming A LOT into the two days that the nanny will be here:)

After talking with several people, it seems like hiring a nanny would also be less expensive for us than taking our kids to a day care facility. In the summer, L goes to an in-home day care 1 day/week and we pay $40/day for him; if we have three children go there it will be $120/day. I have a friend who has a 4 yr old and twin 1 yr olds and she pays $100/day for a nanny to come to her house.

A couple of weeks ago I started asking my friends if they knew of a nanny. Lo and behold, last night I received an email from a friend of mine who is a Labor and Delivery nurse at our local hospital. It said:

I was working this weekend and was conversing with a visitor and she happened to say that she has nannied for triplets in the past. I asked her if she still does and she said maybe weeknights or weekends. I know that wasn't what you were looking for, but at least it's a contact and surprise: she lives right in [your town]! She is a teacher which is why she isn't available during the day. She was happy to give me her info and tell me that even if you would need a sitter or something-she would be available. Also, she said maybe she could connect you with someone.

I am so excited about this email! Since my DH does not work a lot in the winter time from Thankgiving-ish to March and L will be starting Kindergarten next year and be at school from 9-3, I don't really need someone year-round. If I had someone in the summertime during our busiest work months and also the busiest time with L, that would be perfect! My friend also told me in another email last night that this nanny did say that she might be available in the summer and that she would be willing to help in any way that she can. Plus, she lives SO close to me!

And, even if it doesn't work out and she isn't our nanny, it would be nice to have a sitter for the evenings and weekends who is familiar with multiples. Now, that is what I call priceless!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Advice Needed

I once had a BFF named D. We met through our husbands who went to high school together. We were the type of friends who would talk on the phone every day, get together with our husbands and kids on weekends, take vacations together...all those things that you do with your BFF.

Just over a year ago we had a falling out and are no longer friends. There were several reasons for the falling out, but the "straw that broke the camels back" was when she could not support me through our IF. Instead of being a supportive friend, she told me that she was "ditching me" for her other friends (ones that I introduced her to). This, after I stood by her through her rocky marriage and many other personal issues she had gone through in the course of our friendship. Just for the record, I don't think I was all innocent either. I was at the lowest of lows of my life and was pretty depressed over our IF and was not a joy to be around, this I know. In June 2008, I told her that I could no longer be friends with her and that I needed to surround myself with those who were willing to support me. Since then, my DH and her DH have only spoken a few times on the phone and have had lunch 1-2 times.

Fast forward to August 2009 when I received a card in the mail from her saying:

Dear K- I was thrilled to hear you are expecting twins. I am sure you and your family are very happy. Congrats again- & Happy Birthday.:) D

When I opened up my mail that day I just about fell over in shock. I never expected to hear a word from her again. After thinking about it for the day, I decided that it was a nice gesture and perhaps her way of "sticking out the olive branch". My DH agreed and he encouraged me to call her to thank her for the card. I called three days later and left a message for her saying:

Hi, D, it's K. I am just calling to thank you for the card I received in the mail. That was very kind of you to send it and I appreciate that you took the time to send it. I also wanted to congratulate you on the birth of your third little boy. Three little boys, how fun! I hope you all are doing well and I will talk to you later.

[side note: I am still friends with some of the girls that used to hang out in our group of friends that I introduced her to so I am assuming that she heard through the grapevine that we were expecting, just as I heard that she had another boy].

It has been one week and I have not heard back from her. To be honest, I didn't really care whether or not I heard back from her when I called having the attitude "it is what it is". I didn't ask for her to return my call and I made no other attempt in the message I left for her to indicate that I wanted further contact. And this is where I am stuck. I really don't know whether or not I want to try to rekindle our friendship. Part of me feels like she couldn't be there for me when I needed her the most so why would I need/want her as a friend now? The other part of me remembers how much fun we had together and how nice it would be for our DHs and our kids to be friends again. Our kids go to the same school and we live 5 minutes from each other so we are always running into each other.

I am not foolish enough to think that our friendship would be the same that it once was. And there were a handful of other things that I did not enjoy about our friendship either (to put it nicely, a rocky marriage which is still an issue and her son who is super aggressive to L which my DH thinks would be better now that the kids are older to name a couple).

So, what would you do? Would you just let the message I left for her stand and see what happens in the future? Or would you try to contact her again and try to rekindle the friendship? Any other thoughts?

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Cost of It All- Put in Perspective

The other night DH and I were talking about all of the baby things we need to buy for these babies. I looked at him incredulously and with a twinkle in my eye (because this is what I have been not-so-patiently waiting to do for three years and I can't believe I finally get to buy baby stuff!). This was our very short conversation:

Me: OMG, we have like $5,000 worth of stuff to buy! (Of course, I didn't actually tabulate the dollar amount, but rather took a number out of thin air).

DH: Yeah....well, it is a lot less expensive to buy all of this stuff to prepare for them to arrive than it was to conceive them.

Me: Very true! (followed by laughter from both of us)

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my DH and how he puts a spin on things and can always put them in a better perspective than I can? :)

Happy Friday to all! I am 17 weeks today and I am so excited to see my bestest friend today. She, her DH and her two kids are coming to stay with us for the weekend, WOOHOO!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

16 Week OB Appointment

Before I tell you about my appt, I have to first tell you about my fabulous birthday yesterday. L and I decided to have a low-key day and we stayed home yesterday morning, rather than going to a play date or the park or story time at the library or wherever else we decide to go. It was so nice just to "chill out" since we have been so busy this summer. DH came home last night and he brought me my presents. He gave me a few misc things that I wanted and then I opened up a large camera-like case. I had just bought a new camera a couple of months ago so I was a bit confused. The next present I opened was a video camera. I was in shock and soooo super happy! We have never had one and have talked about getting one for a long time and my dear, sweet DH decided to just get it and give it to me. Now I can finally tape all of the funny things that L says and does and I can video the babies when they arrive. :) I ended the day with going out to dinner with my two favorite boys.

This morning I had my 16 week appt. I had one day last week when the babies were so active all day long and since them I have hardly felt them move so I was really worried going into today's appt. They took a urine sample to check for a UTI and it came back normal. They also checked my hemoglobin and it is above 11 still. Once it goes below 11, my OB will prescribe iron pills. Here are some of the other stats:

Weight Gain: 16 pounds
Blood Pressure: 114/60
Fundal Height: 20 cm
Babies Heartbeats: between 156-164

So far, everything looks good! I have gained about a pound a week, which is great, my b/p is still low, I am measuring the same as someone with a singleton would measure at 20 weeks and both babies heartbeats are going strong!

I told my OB that I was still taking the baby aspirin (which she told me to stop taking at 13 weeks, but I was too nervous to stop) and said that she actually DOES want me to continue taking it for various reasons. She said that blood clots increase with twins and also to keep the micro vascular arteries "slippery".

I asked her if she thought I would be put on bed rest at some point. She said that she can't tell at this point, but the fact that I have carried a 9lb 4.2oz baby to full term is a good sign and that lowers that risk of going into pre-term labor. She also told me that I am not on any real restrictions at this point except she doesn't want me doing really strenuous stuff like yard work or heavy lifting. I assured her that I am not even vacuuming at this point (thanks DH!). She thought that when I see her at my next appt that she would most likely put me on some restrictions due to fatigue, but hopefully not because of any other medical reasons.

I also asked if I could take a "prenatal splash" class at one of the therapy pools close to our house. It is a swimming/low impact exercise class for pregnant women. They follow all of the recommended guidelines for pregnant women. I am already experiencing shortness of breath going up stairs or walking long distances so I want to try to keep up my strength and mobility as I get bigger. She gave the ok to do this because she encourages movement for as long as my body is able to handle it.

My 20 week u/s is on September 8 and then we have an appt with our OB that same day as well. Things are going to smoothly that I feel like I am waiting for the shoe to drop. After we get through our 20 week u/s, I will hopefully be able to rest much easier:)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Two Most Common Questions

Whenever someone, whether it be a stranger or someone I know, says "Congrats!" on our pregnancy I always tell them that we are pregnant with twins. I just want both babies to "count" or be recognized somehow. I worked so hard to get them that I feel I need to be fair to each of them and let people know that there are two babies. Yep, I am already starting to be fair with my twins...what one gets the other will also get. My sister and I were raised so fairly and both of us have always felt equally loved, nurtured, important, etc by our parents.

When I tell others that we are pregnant with twins the first question they ask (in at least 99.9% of instances) is: Do twins run in your family? DH and I simply say, "yes, they run in both sides of our family". And, quite amazingly, this is true. My aunt was a twin (although the details on what happened to her brother are somewhat unknown. We know that he died, but not sure if he died before or after birth). One of my grandma's was also a twin. DHs grandma was also a twin.

Obviously our twins were not conceived due to the genetic make-up of our family, but do strangers and others whom we know really need to know the details of how our babies were conceived? Nope, I don't think so! I don't think this because I am embarrassed of the route we had to go to get pregnant with these babies (because I am quite proud of how DH and I handled our IF), but I don't feel that all people can handle the information on IVF, nor does everyone with agree with ART procedures. I also feel like I didn't tell others that DH and I had sex to conceive L (once again, I'll pause while you lean over and throw up a little in the garbage can....). Simply put, it isn't any business of someone whom I wish not to share it with.

The second most common question we get asked is: Do you know what you are having? or Will you find out what you are having? DH and I have agreed that we will find out the sex of our babies, but we will not be sharing this with anyone. Most of our close friends and family know the exact date and time our children were conceived, the date we got pregnant, and the date we found out we were pregnant. They will also know when our planned c-section will occur. We want one little thing to keep to ourselves as a surprise for others. We have been so blessed to be supported by so many people who care about us and our journey. It's just that I want just one eensy, weensy little surprise, that's all.

My next appointment is on Tuesday with my OB. I have a bunch of questions to ask her and we are excited to hear the babies heartbeats again. We will also be setting up our 20 week u/s.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Daddy's First Kick

Last night we ran a couple of errands and then stopped at a nearby park so that L could play and get some energy out. While we were sitting on the bench watching him play I felt Baby A move on my left side, just to the left of my belly button. It didn't feel like a kick, but just a "movement". Kind of like the baby was pressing his/her whole back on my belly. I grabbed DHs hand right away and had him feel the hard spot that Baby A was making on my belly. He felt the hard little body pushing on my belly. As he was holding his hand there, he felt a couple of little kicks. I kept telling him, "are you sure you felt it? Because my pulse is really strong right now so you could just be feeling my pulse." He assured me that he could feel the difference between my pulse and a baby kick:)

When we were talking in bed last night I felt one of the babies kicking me. I grabbed DHs hand again and he placed it where I was feeling the kicks and he felt the kicking. Both times he was beaming from ear to ear and he said, "that is so cool that I can feel them kicking already". Then he leaned down and kissed my big belly.

I feel so lucky to have these babies in my belly. I am loving every minute of having them snuggled in and growing inside of me. I have been on the verge of tears all day because of how much love and joy I feel. Not only for these babies, but for my little L and my DH. I don't think that life could be much better at this point.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

14 Weeks Belly Pictures

You all have been waiting so patiently for me to post belly pics:) DH and I were also trying to scan in our u/s pics today and our scanner seems to be temporarily out of order. I need to call HP to have them help me fix it over the phone, but I haven't had time to do it today. Hopefully in the next week I can get it working and post some of my most recent u/s pics.

Without further ado, here are my 14 week belly pics:

Please excuse my scrunched up face as I was squinting at the sun. Hopefully my next pic will be better:)

I have still been feeling tons of little kicking. Yesterday I felt the babies moving all day long and today they have been more quiet. It is such a nice reassurance to feel them kicking away and know that they are still thriving and growing.

I am still a bit tired, but not until 7-8:00 at night. In my first trimester I would get tired around 4:00 in the afternoon and be lethargic for the rest of the day. Thankfully, DH is awesome and always so willing to accommodate me. He and L are quite the duo and have been going on tons of adventures together.

L has been really excited and talking about the babies a lot. He will come up to me and say, "Mom, when are those babies coming out of your belly?" with only the enthusiasm that a 4 year old has:) When I tell him, "After you start pre-school, after Halloween, after Thanksgiving, after your birthday and after Santa comes, that is when the babies will come". He looks at me and says, "Well, that will be forever". I usually agree with him. I tell DH all of the time, "Is it January yet?" I really just can't wait until I am holding these babies in my arms. L will also come up to me and put his ear to my belly button and tell me that he can hear the babies in my belly.

I have been enjoying reading all of your blogs and keeping up with everyone. There are a couple of special blog friends who are cycling and I am rooting you on like you wouldn't believe.