Wednesday, September 30, 2009

OB Appt and U/S- All Good News!

[Edited: accidentally typed 180/60 ofr my blood pressure today. It was actually 108/60]

Today we had another OB appt and an u/s. When we went into the u/s room I asked the tech if she could find the heartbeats again right away. She asked me if I was worried about it and I responded, "I'm always worried about it". She found the heartbeats and both boys were active as usual. I am not sure that they even sleep that much since they are both busy little monkeys all of the time. Here are the stats from today's appt:

Baby A: weighs 1lb3oz, which puts him in the 52%
Baby B: weighs 1lb4oz, which puts him in the 68%
Baby A h/b: 142
Baby B h/b: 144
Blood Pressure: 108/60 (exact same as last time)
Cervical Length: 4.77
Fundal Height: 30cm
Weight Gain: 30 pounds (WOW!)
Genders: Confirmed without a doubt:)

When my OB and I talked about my weight gain I told her that I was surprised that I had gained so much from my last appt since my appetite has decreased and I am eating mostly from the food groups with maybe a cookie or some ice cream thrown in every once in a while. When I got home and was looking at my legs I it dawned on me that I have more fluid retention than I did three weeks ago at my last appt.

In one of the pictures we saw on the u/s screen Baby B was sitting peacefully and Baby A was hitting him in the head with his elbow. It is so painful to watch, but it makes me giggle to know that they are typical little boys already (not that we condone hitting in our house at all). Another u/s pic we have has Baby B lying on top of Baby A head. It sounds really weird, but it is really cute like they are snuggled together in a really odd position.

My next OB appt is October 21 and I will also have the glucose test done that day as well. Our next u/s to check for growth and cervical length will be on October 28. Once I get to 30-32 weeks I will be going in every week and we will schedule my c-section around that time as well.

At the end of our appt I asked my OB what my chances of going into pre-term labor are at this point. She said that everything looks good and mentioned again that I had a 9lb4oz baby before so that works in my favor. She told me that "everything is going perfectly" and that I should "feel confident in how well this pregnancy is going". I asked her to promise me that she wouldn't let me have two 9lb babies and she assured me that I wouldn't and that she didn't think I would stretch that far.

As a side note- cute kid story: Tonight I was hugging Logan and telling him how much I love him and how he has been such a good boy lately by being a good listener. I was on my knees and had my arms wrapped around his little body. All of the sudden he dropped to his knees and started kissing my belly. I asked, "what are you doing?". He replied, "just kissing the babies so that they don't cry and when they come out of your belly I will kiss them some more so that they don't cry, but you have to change their poopy diapers." Did I ever mention how much it makes me laugh to hear children put things in their own words? :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Shopping Fun and Genders: Revealed

Since we found out the genders of our babies three weeks ago we have had so much fun telling others that we are having "two little monkeys". My family especially has been asking certain questions like: "what color clothes should we be buying?" or "do you need pink or blue scrapbook supplies?" to which DH and kindly reply, "one never knows until they arrive" or "maybe or maybe not". We have all been having a little bit of fun with keeping their genders a secret.

Saturday DH and I went shopping in the afternoon for some baby gear. We spent the day researching the big items like cribs, double strollers, monitors, bouncy seats, swings and bedding. We have one of some of these items, but other items that we had from Logan either broke or we got rid of because we didn't like. We ended up buying a new bouncy seat and a double stroller, which we got an awesome deal on!

We decided that when the babies are infants we don't want to get a side-by-side stroller because that would require us taking them out of their infant seats and place them directly in the stroller. So we decided to look for a front-to-back stroller for now and then we will most likely purchase the side-by-side stroller in the future. When we were looking at strollers at Ba.bies.R.U.s we saw that the Duo.glider was on clearance. We were told that it is being discontinued because they are changing the color on it and maybe making modifications to it. The stroller was normally $229.99 clearanced down to $149.99. With the 10% discount that Ba.bies.R.U.s gives for multiples and a coupon I had, the stroller ended up being $137. DH and I agreed that it is not the most awesome stroller ever, but it is practical and will do just fine for when the babies are infants and when I need a front-to-back stroller when I am out shopping or in a crowd as they get older. DH made the comment that because we got such a great deal on this stroller, we won't feel bad spending more money on a better stroller in the future. I agree!

The store did not have the Snug.ride infant car seats that I wanted so I came home and found them online at for $82! The same car seats in the store were $99.99, except of course they don't have the style I wanted. I am saving on shipping by having them shipped to a Wal.mart location near my house.

We also purchased some baby blankets and figured out what we are going to purchase for some of the other big items. After realizing that you can only make returns within 90 days, we decided to wait until we are within 90 days of our due date so that if there is a problem with anything we buy that we will be able to return it.

After we got home from shopping I received a phone call from my mom wondering how our shopping trip went. I told her where we went and what we bought. She then asked, "So, your dad and I need to know what color stuff we should start buying the babies for Christmas" and my dad chimed in the background, "No, what colors should we buy for Halloween? or better yet, do I need to buy boy or girl camo gear for the hunting season?" I started laughing and said, "let me ask DH". DH was standing right there and he gave the go ahead to tell them the genders. After shopping all afternoon and being reminded how much all this baby gear will cost we figured that as much help as they are willing to give us in buying clothes or other items, we will take! I asked my mom, "Are you sure you want to know??" She exclaimed, "Yes!" She put my dad on speaker phone and as I was laughing I told her, "I will tell you, but you aren't going to believe me anyways" (she was convinced that we are having one boy and one girl), "well, we are having two little monkeys ..........(long pause)..........which are usually associated with little boys". My mom responded, "And??". I was laughing SO hard by this time because I knew she wouldn't believe me so I said, "And nothing, we are have two little boys". After going back and forth with me laughing and her questioning me I think she finally believed me that we are having two little baby BOYS! :)

We have also been telling Logan for the last three weeks that he is going to have two brothers. He also is convinced that we are going to have "one brother and one sister". We have told him at least 50 times that he is going to have two brothers, but if you ask him today what we are having he will tell you, "one brother and one sister". I told him this morning on the way to school that he may be disappointed when they come and they are two boys.

DH is already planning on clearing out some of our woods and making a dirt track for them to ride four-wheelers, snowmobiles, go-karts and dirt bikes. I am pulling the reins back and telling him that I am not too sure I want my boys to have these powerful machines. As they grow and mature, we'll see what happens. I can forsee lots of broken bones in my future, which I am not at all prepared for!

I have always wanted a whole gaggle of boys. I love my nieces, but I love my little boy. I love how he likes to help daddy with projects and how he likes to help me make dinner and bake. I love his adventurous spirit and how he can be a tough little guy. There is just something about little boys that bring a smile to my face. I like to shop, but by myself and I briefly thought about planning their wedding and decided that even though I won't be as involved as my future daughter-in-laws family, it will be okay. Somehow I will find a non-intrusive way to be involved. And, I will always be there for my boys, no matter what.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Shopping for Babies

I have been researching twin baby gear for weeks and trying to decide what products are best for us. Most of my research has been online. I have been reading consumer report reviews, reading customer reviews, talking to other twin moms and talking to DH. I have ventured to a couple of baby stores for very short visits and then end up walking out because it is all so overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO EXCITED to be spending money on baby-related things for MY babies. This time, I am without tears in my eyes as I have been in the past for others babies that I have had to buy baby shower gifts for. It's just that shopping for baby stuff has made me a bit anxious- in a good way.

The other day I told DH, "less than four months until our babies arrive". His eyes got as big as saucers and his mouth dropped open and he just stared for a moment. And as quickly as this blank stare came, it was gone and replaced with a million dollar smile and glitter in his eyes. You see, we are both still in so much awe that we are pregnant, and with TWO babies nonetheless. And, my, how time has flown during this pregnancy!

I am 22 weeks today- woohoo!! Which means that our babies will be arriving in the next 16 weeks (hopefully not until after the New Year). Wow, after three years of TTC, our little much-anticipated dreams will be arriving into our loving arms. It just takes my breath away a bit. To know (hopefully) that we will have two perfect little ones to love so much we can hardly stand it is well...awesomely, amazingly, wonderfully, WOW! To give Logan a sibling and watch how he grows and teaches his siblings will quite possibly be the most wonderful thing I will ever see.

So, with much anticipated, anxious and overwhelming joy, DH and I are going baby gear shopping tomorrow. My sister is taking Logan for us while we spend the afternoon trying to figure out what products will work best for our family. Which style of stroller- front and back or tandem? Which swing? What kind of monitor? Which car seats?....and the list goes on. I don't know if we will make any big purchases, but it will be nice to see and test the products in the store with DH. He will add insight and be able to tell if some of the products are worth buying or if we should search for something better. After all, we have been partners in crime through our entire of IF journey, why stop now? Not only do I want, love and like DH, I need him more than he'll ever know.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Update: Wake/Visitation

Today my mom, dad and I went to the wake for Bri Her.oux. She is the wife of my ex-boyfriend/family friend, Andy, that I posted about a few days ago. DH and I talked a lot about it before I went and we were both upset and sad over this horrible situation. DH really wanted to go also, but felt that since he had never met Andy in person that it would not be appropriate to go.

When we got to the funeral home at 3:00 when it started there were already so many people there. Most notably, I saw squad cars from the City of Still.water (where Bri was a police officer), City of St Pa.ul (where Andy is a police officer), Minn.esota State Tro.oper (where Bri worked in dispatch) and Still.water Fire Department. I was moved instantly when I pulled into the parking lot and saw her squad car with flowers and stuffed animals all over it. The lights on top of the squad were draped in black.

As we entered the building my mom and I began tearing up and there was already a lot of people in line waiting to express their condolences to Andy and both Bri and Andy's family. As we got closer my dad said, "Andy just gave me a thumbs up" meaning that he was happy to see my dad. A few minutes later Andy looked up again in our direction and his eyes landed on mine. His face instantly lit up and he gave me a little wave. I started crying even more and gave a slight smile. I just can't believe that this poor woman who just gave birth is no longer here to see her son smile and to experience the joys of motherhood with her husband.

When we got up to Andy he gave my mom a hug and they talked for a minute. As my mom turned to greet Bri's parents and then Andy's parents, Andy looked at me and gave me a huge hug. I have never been hugged so tightly in my life. I was sobbing and he began to cry and we just hugged. When we pulled away he held my hands and said, "it has been a long time. Thank you so much for coming". I told him how sorry I was for his loss and that after all this time I didn't want to see him for this. By this time I was a wreck. After seeing his wife laying in the casket beside him I felt so much sorrow for all that they have been through.

As I passed Bri's parents I said, "Hi. I'm just a friend of Andy's. I am so terribly sorry for your loss". They were so gracious as they shook my hand and thanked me for coming.

When I saw Andy's mom we embraced and this was the second time that I was hugged so hard. She began crying when she was hugging me and I was again sobbing and telling her and Andy's dad how sorry I was for their loss. They told my mom, dad and I how much they appreciated us coming and how nice it was to see all of us. We chatted for a couple of minutes and Andy's mom asked me when I was due, his dad told me that he would have Andy call DH and I if he needed help with anything, they complimented me on my DH and Logan, and his dad asked if I make chocolate chip cookies (apparently he loves chocolate chip cookies and when I offered to help in any way he thought he might as well as for cookies, LOL:))

As my mom, dad and I left we talked about our conversations with Andy and Bri and Andy's families. My dad told Andy that our family will always be there for him. I thought this was so appropriate. Everyone in my family had a really good relationship with Andy and even when we stopped dating, my dad continued to be friends with him. DH and I were talking last night and he believes that if there is anything that we could possibly do to help Andy and his baby boy, that we will. In situations such as this how do you not help out, regardless of any past history you have with that person?

I will continue to hope, wish and pray for Andy, his baby boy and their families. They hold a special place in my heart and I will remember them all forever. As their baby boy grows I hope that he resembles his mommy in so many ways to remind her family that her spirit is still alive and that an angel in heaven surrounds them. Rest in Peace, Bri.

To read more about Bri, her baby boy and Andy, follow these links:

Friday, September 18, 2009 Fla.tts

I have been a fan of Fla.tts for a long time. I have always enjoyed their music and think they are a good group. A couple of years ago I heard their song called "My Wish". When I first heard this song I immediately thought of Logan and how much this song resonated with me for what I wish for him. I have this song on my I.pod and I play it for him every now and again. As soon as it comes on he says, "Mommy, this is my song". The lyrics are here:

About two years ago I was again listening to some Fla.tts music and came across another song that resonated with me while struglling with IF called "Bless the Broken Road". Even though this is a romantic type song, when I heard it I felt like I was walking on a Broken Road to get to a point where I would hopefully have another child. The last time I heard this song on my radio was around a year ago, until beta day. When I was driving to the clinic for my beta this song started playing on the radio. I immediately burst in to tears. Even though I was crying I felt such calm and peace in that moment on the surface. Below the surface I had such a mix of emotions that ranged from "maybe this is my sign that it actually worked this time" to "oh no, this song is jinxing me". But alas, my positive beta finally arrived.

I had not heard this song on the radio all summer long until last week when I went in for my Level II u/s. I was driving down the road and the song came on the radio again. I could not believe that I never hear this song on the radio, but then on two of the most important days of this pregnancy it was on the radio.

Logan and I were listening to this song a couple of days ago and he said, "Mom, this is the babies song." I said, "yes, it is. Just like you have My Wish". He replied, "Maybe when the babies get here I can share my song with them". I thought this was so fitting because even though we have traveled this bumpy road to conceive these babies, the broken road that I have traveled for them will no longer be broken, but rather the pieces will be in place and where they should have been all along.

Hopefully I will have two healthy babies at the end of this pregnancy, but I will never forget the Broken Road that I have traveled. My babies will not know my journey on this Broken Road for a long time, but it will always remain with me as a part of who I am today and how I will be going forward in life as a mom, wife, friend, etc. How could one possibly forget what they have gone through to create little miracles of life?

In the spirit of remembering our IF journey, DH and I are planning on going to the Fla.tts concert tomorrow night. When they have come to town the last couple of years we have always been busy and not able to go. On Tuesday I asked my mom and dad to take Logan over night for us and DH has made contact with a guy on Craig.slist to obtain tickets for us. I am so hoping that they play these two songs in addition to so many of their other songs that I love. And I hope that as this pregnancy progresses, that more of the broken pieces on the road continue to fall in to place.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Please Pray For This Family

Just a quick disclaimer that the babies and I are fine. However, this post is very sad.

In college I dated a guy named Andy for three years. When we started dating he made a pact with me that we would always remain friends no matter what happened with our relationship. When we ended our relationship we continued to get updates on each other. Every Christmas I would send him a Christmas card and a couple days later he would send me a card and a letter back in the mail. I have also exchanged Christmas cards with his parents for the last 10 years.

I also received updates on him and what was going on in his life from my dad. When we were dating my dad got him a job at his place of employment and he made friends there whom he still talks to today. I saw his old partner two times this summer when my dad retired and at a wake for one of his old co-workers.

A couple of years ago he sent my parents a wedding announcement. This summer I learned that he and his wife were expecting their first child. When I got married six years ago I received a phone call from him congratulating me. When his grandpa died four years ago I called him to express my condolences. I have talked to him several times in the 10 years since we stopped dating.

Today I found out some very sad, heart-wrenching news. My ex-boyfriend/long-time family friend lost his wife last night. She developed HELLP syndrome and never recovered. In addition to this horrific news, on August 30, their baby boy was born with his bladder outside of his body. Bri was never able to meet her little boy as she was not awake when he was born and her conditione worsened after her baby was born. She was given a liver transplant last week and her body seemed to be accepting the liver when it appears that she was diagnosed with brain damage. She was taken off of life support last night.

I have been in tears for most of the day. I just can't believe that something so horrible could happen to such good people. DH also so feels incredible sad for this family even though he has never met Andy in person.

I have been trying to decide today if I will attend her visitation given my current pregnant condition and history with him. I talked with several people and got mixed advice. All day long I was feeling like I really need to go to this service. Even though we are not as close as we once were, I feel like we still share some sort of bond. My decision became clear when I spoke with my dad this afternoon. He told me that he and my mom would be going and he would feel horrible if he did not go to her visitation. I was telling my dad that I din't know if I should go, but I really do want to go. His response, "Oh, I think you should go. I think he would be disappointed if you didn't go. I know Andy well and I know that he would want you to come. He will probably break down in tears once he sees you." This is how I was feeling all day too. My dad is not one to mince words and would tell me without a doubt if I shouldn't go. How could I possibly not go and support him during this horrible time in his life?

To read more here is the link to their story:

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

19 Week Belly Pics

I have to warn you before you view this post that I have GROWN. As you may remember from my last post, I am measuring what someone would measure with a singleton at 26 weeks. I also tried taking a pic with my exposed belly, i.e, pulling my shirt up over the top of my belly, but I still have really faint bruises from the hep.arin so I decided not to post it. Enjoy!

And, just for fun because it was Logan's first day of preschool this year, a pic of my big boy.

Now that Logan is back in school three days/week I will have more time to get other things done. I have a few posts that I have been wanting to write for a while now so stay tuned!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Level II Ultrasound and Names

Today we had our level II u/s and our 20 week appt with our OB. When we got to our clinic I was really nervous (as I am for every appt and u/s), but was excited to see our little angels since our last u/s was six weeks ago. In the last couple of weeks I have begun to feel both babies moving more so I knew that they were still "alive and kickin'", but it is such a nice reassurance to actually see them.

When she started the u/s I asked the technician to make sure they had heartbeats first. She replied, "I have already seen them kicking and moving, but let me get a good a look at their hearts." I so love when they are so agreeable to my silly requests:) She proceeded to measure them both and we had so much fun watching them moving all around and kicking. At one point, one of them was kicking the other one in the head with both feet. DH and I were giggling because the baby that was getting kicked kept putting up his little hand to block the kicks.

Here are some stats from our appt today:

Baby A and Baby B: weighed in at 12oz each
Baby A and Baby B: all measurements were the same and everything looked good on the u/s
Baby A and Baby B: both measured at 19w5d (I am 19w4d today)
Baby A h/b: 145
Baby B h/b: 153
Weight Gain: 22 pounds
Blood Pressure: 108/60
Fundal Height: 26cm
Cervical Length: 4.9
Fluid Retention: slight edema

The only measurement they were not able to get was Baby B spine since he was laying down. I will have another OB appt and u/s in three weeks where they will check to see if they can get a good picture of it then.

And, yes, we did find out the sexes. I have never felt confident in the determination of a baby's sex at the 20 week u/s since I know quite a few people who have been told one sex and their child was born and it was the opposite sex. Since it is a secret anyways, I will just say that we are having two little monkeys. We are decorating their room in a monkey theme, thus the two little "monkeys".

After our u/s we met with our OB. She told me that the only restrictions I have is no lifting >25#. She said that everything looks great and that I am "doing a good job". I told her that I was concerned that I would have two big babies again since the u/s tech told me that the babies are weighing what a singleton would at 20 weeks. She told me that they probably wouldn't be as big as L was when he was born at a strapping 9lbs4ozs.

She also told me that she wants to see me every three weeks at this point and told me to make the next three appts before I left today. My next appt is on Wednesday, September 30.

We have two girl names picked out, but no boy names. Boy names are so hard! Here are the girl names:

Madelyn Grace (Madelyn was my grandma's name and Grace was DHs grandma's name)
Amelia Hope (My grandpa's name and my dad's middle name were Mel for aMELia and Hope because we never gave up)

L's real name is Logan Michael

DH and I have been talking about boy names for a few weeks and none are really jumping out at us. We have a couple of boys names that we somewhat like, but we don't love. And don't go reading into anything either and thinking we have two boys. For myself I just need to have two names for each gender. Does anyone have suggestions for boy names??