I have been a fan of Ras.cal Fla.tts for a long time. I have always enjoyed their music and think they are a good group. A couple of years ago I heard their song called "My Wish". When I first heard this song I immediately thought of Logan and how much this song resonated with me for what I wish for him. I have this song on my I.pod and I play it for him every now and again. As soon as it comes on he says, "Mommy, this is my song". The lyrics are here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZpcB1A2r3A
About two years ago I was again listening to some Ras.cal Fla.tts music and came across another song that resonated with me while struglling with IF called "Bless the Broken Road". Even though this is a romantic type song, when I heard it I felt like I was walking on a Broken Road to get to a point where I would hopefully have another child. The last time I heard this song on my radio was around a year ago, until beta day. When I was driving to the clinic for my beta this song started playing on the radio. I immediately burst in to tears. Even though I was crying I felt such calm and peace in that moment on the surface. Below the surface I had such a mix of emotions that ranged from "maybe this is my sign that it actually worked this time" to "oh no, this song is jinxing me". But alas, my positive beta finally arrived.
I had not heard this song on the radio all summer long until last week when I went in for my Level II u/s. I was driving down the road and the song came on the radio again. I could not believe that I never hear this song on the radio, but then on two of the most important days of this pregnancy it was on the radio.
Logan and I were listening to this song a couple of days ago and he said, "Mom, this is the babies song." I said, "yes, it is. Just like you have My Wish". He replied, "Maybe when the babies get here I can share my song with them". I thought this was so fitting because even though we have traveled this bumpy road to conceive these babies, the broken road that I have traveled for them will no longer be broken, but rather the pieces will be in place and where they should have been all along.
Hopefully I will have two healthy babies at the end of this pregnancy, but I will never forget the Broken Road that I have traveled. My babies will not know my journey on this Broken Road for a long time, but it will always remain with me as a part of who I am today and how I will be going forward in life as a mom, wife, friend, etc. How could one possibly forget what they have gone through to create little miracles of life?
In the spirit of remembering our IF journey, DH and I are planning on going to the Ras.cal Fla.tts concert tomorrow night. When they have come to town the last couple of years we have always been busy and not able to go. On Tuesday I asked my mom and dad to take Logan over night for us and DH has made contact with a guy on Craig.slist to obtain tickets for us. I am so hoping that they play these two songs in addition to so many of their other songs that I love. And I hope that as this pregnancy progresses, that more of the broken pieces on the road continue to fall in to place.