Tuesday, March 31, 2009

IF Humor

On Sunday we went to a birthday party for my niece. It was at a hotel so that the kids could go swimming and there was a really nice party room attached to the pool area. My sister and BIL usually have a New Year's Eve party at their house. But after going to this hotel they thought that it would be a good place to have the New Year's party for a change. So, my sis emailed us yesterday and asked what we thought of having the New Year's party at the hotel this year and renting rooms overnight. I told her that we were in.

Last night DH and I were talking about it and he said, "What are all of the kids going to do when it is time to go to bed if we are all in the party room?" I explained that all of the kids, except L, are old enough to stay up until midnight. Then I said, "ha ha ha, maybe I will be pregnant and I will be sooo tired and I will want to go to bed before midnight so I can take L to bed with me. ha ha ha". He said, "Yes, maybe. That would be nice." I looked at him and said, "If you believe that good for you because I don't".

It's weird because I have *hope* (my best friend and worst enemy all on the same day) that one of these cycles will work, but I don't *believe* that they will. Does this make any sense?

In other news, my meds are being delivered on Thursday. And I start Lu.pron on 4/7, NOT 4/17 as I stated in my previous post.

I have also lost 14.5 pounds and I am SUPER excited about that!!


Jill M. said...

I totally get that, I have hope every cycle but struggle believing it could actually happening to me.

Wow, the lupron is starting soon, you ready?

Congrats on the weight loss, that's great!

kayjay said...

I totally get the hope without belief thing. Even when I finally got our first BFP, I was still in disbelief that it was actually real and I somehow, in the back of my mind, I always wonder if my disbelief caused my m/c. I really and truly hoped that it was finally our turn, our miracle, but the reality of the situation was that it was not to be and my disbelief never turned into belief. So yes, I totally get it.

GL with the start of your cycle and congrats on the 14.5lbs lost!!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your weight loss! Thats excellent! GL with your cycle and your upcoming meeting with lupron. And I totally understand the glimmer of hope without believing it can really happen to us. We have been hurt so much in the past...

Sue said...

I feel the same way - I don't believe this is possible anymore but I still constantly hope it is. And, like KJ, I always worry that this thinking impacted my pregnancy or it impacts my fertility. I want to be positive and hopeful but I always end up kind of negative.

Congrats on the weight loss! And GL on that cycle. I'll enjoy following along...