A Letter To My Son

Dear Logan:
Mommy was in bed last night thinking of you and the joy you have brought to my life over the past five years. When you entered this world on December 1, 2004, we were immediately blessed and so thankful to have you. Looking at you for the first time is a sight I will remember forever. After laboring for 36 hours and pushing for three of those hours, I was never so happy to lay my eyes on you after you were delivered via emergency c-section. You were a trooper the whole time I was in labor and never showed any signs of stress. I had already waited nine months for you while you were in my belly and then with the long labor and delivery, well, I just couldn't wait any more. The nurse held you up to my face so I could kiss your sweet, plump little cheeks several times and then you were whisked away to the nursery with Daddy close behind. As I was in surgery recovery I kept asking how you were doing. By the time I had gotten back to our room, you were gone with Daddy to have minor surgery. Again, I had to wait to hold you in my arms. When you were finally placed in my arms it was nothing short of the best feeling in the world. From that day on you have blessed Daddy and I in ways that are unimaginable.

The first time you said "mama" and "dada" and "i love you" brought so much joy to our hearts. And when you come up to me out of the blue and say "give me a kiss and hug" completely melt my heart. At five years old you are so loving, expressive, funny, happy, smart...and the list could go on. I am so thankful that you have Daddy's funny, silly personality and my thinking skills. I am so proud of you!

During the last 3.5 years I have been trying to give you, Daddy and I a gift. The gift of a sibling for you to share with, a partner in crime. It makes me sad that for 2/3 of your life I have been trying to complete our family. For every tear I cried and failed procedure, you have been the ray of sunshine to pull me through. Because for every tear I cried, I was 1,000,000 times more thankful to have you. For every star I wished upon to have another child, I thanked two stars that I already had you. You have kissed and hugged me when I was crying, not knowing what else to do, but knowing intuitively that I needed you close to me. How could you know this? Every time I cried and you asked, "Mommy, what's wrong?". I responded by saying, "I am just so thankful to have you". And I am. More than you could possibly know.

I have enjoyed watching you bond with your brothers in my belly for the last months. You are constantly asking about them and often come up to my belly to give them hugs and kisses. You yell into the microphone, my belly button, "Hey Brothers! I can't wait to meet you!". It brings a joy to my heart that can't be explained.

In four short days your brothers will arrive. Our family will change. As happy as I am to be adding to our family, I am sad. Sad that I won't be able to spend as much time with you. You are my first born and we have spent the last five years together, without interruptions. You are growing so big and I can't believe how fast the last five years have gone. Thank you, Logan, for being such a blessing to Daddy and I. We love you with all of our hearts and are so thankful that we have you. We can't wait for you to meet your little brothers and to become the big brother that we have been waiting for.

Love you to pieces,
Mommy