Today was a busy day! I arrived at the hospital at 7:15 for my Glucose Tolerance Test. As I was walking in I got tears in my eyes remembering when I went to the same hospital to deliver Logan. It was such a joyful time for DH and I and I hope that our twins are born healthy as well. I sat in the lab of the hospital for over three hours while I did the test and the staff was so wonderful! They gave me blankets to keep warm, water to stay hydrated and they were so friendly. Another gal was there doing her test too and the time flew by so quickly because we ended up talking for the whole 3+ hours.
Here are the blood sugar results:
Fasting: 78 (normal range: <95)
One Hour: 145 (normal range: <180)
Two Hours: 127 (normal range: <155)
Three Hours: 121 (normal range: <140)
In other words: I passed! :)
While I sitting in the lab all morning I received a phone call from my OB clinic that the u/s tech who was scheduled to do my u/s today called in sick so they had to cancel my u/s. She told me that since I was already at the hospital that they would fax my orders to the hospital so that I could have my u/s done there after my glucose test.
When I went down to radiology to have my u/s I was lead to the same spot where I sat when I had my u/s with Logan. Again, I got tears in eyes just remembering being pregnant with my little angel baby that is now a big boy.
Here are the stats from the u/s:
Baby A
Weighs: 2lb9oz, which puts him in the 77% (percentile)
Measuring: 28w0d
Baby B
Weighs: 2lb11oz, which puts him in the 80% (percentile)
Measuring: 28w3d
Cervical Length: 4.4 (normal: >3)
Biophysical Exam: everything looks good, they were "practice breathing" well and they have enough fluid around them.
Oh man! I am going to have a couple of big boys again! Logan was 9lb4oz and I think these babies are going to be big too. I can't believe that my twins are so high in the percentiles:) As we were leaving my DH said, "thank God for c-sections, right?" We were laughing all of the way out of the hospital about how big they are already. I am 26w5d today so they are both measuring 1.5-2 weeks bigger right now! I have no idea why I grow such big babies. I am only 5'2" and weighed about 143 pounds when they were conceived and I eat mostly from the four food groups so it's not like I am sitting around eating junk food all of the time. But, trust me, I'm not complaining. I am just so glad that they are growing well and thriving in my belly:)
My next appt is with my OB is scheduled for Wednesday, November 11. I will follow-up with my OB in the next couple of days on the glucose test and today's u/s and find out when she wants me to schedule my next u/s.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Big Brother
Logan has been thinking about his two new little brothers a lot lately. It seems like every couple of days he mentions something about them. Last week he was able to feel them kicking me on four different days. When he felt them kick he started laughing hysterically as if it was the funniest thing that he ever felt. He also is routinely coming up to me to hug my big belly. And he insists my belly button is a microphone that leads directly to the babies so he constantly talking into it. Last week he yelled into the "microphone", "hey brothers I can't wait to meet you!". It makes me laugh so hard and brings the most awesome joy to my heart.
What I love the most about Logan and his brothers is his thoughtfulness and that he is constantly thinking of them. Today he told me that his brothers will have to hear his Turkey Lurkey making sounds (we made Turkey Lurkey at Build-A-Bear at the Mall of America a couple of weeks ago and has been Logan's best friend ever since). He has also been talking about how he is going to share his toys with his brothers.
Yesterday I was asking him questions about how to handle his brothers when they come. I was asking him questions like, "will you pick up your brothers and fling them around? or will you hold them gently and give them lots of kisses?". It amazes me that he already knows that his brothers will be fragile and that he will need to be really gentle with them.
As much as I try to not talk too much about the babies for fear that Logan will be jealous of these little miracles that he can't yet see, it seems like Logan always bring them up. It's as if he knows that they are already a part of our family already. DH and I are trying to soak up our last couple of months with Logan and our family of three, but our sweet, little four year old constantly reminds us that we have two brothers on the way.
Now, I am hoping that he adjusts well to them being here once they are born otherwise we may have some issues to sort out:)
What I love the most about Logan and his brothers is his thoughtfulness and that he is constantly thinking of them. Today he told me that his brothers will have to hear his Turkey Lurkey making sounds (we made Turkey Lurkey at Build-A-Bear at the Mall of America a couple of weeks ago and has been Logan's best friend ever since). He has also been talking about how he is going to share his toys with his brothers.
Yesterday I was asking him questions about how to handle his brothers when they come. I was asking him questions like, "will you pick up your brothers and fling them around? or will you hold them gently and give them lots of kisses?". It amazes me that he already knows that his brothers will be fragile and that he will need to be really gentle with them.
As much as I try to not talk too much about the babies for fear that Logan will be jealous of these little miracles that he can't yet see, it seems like Logan always bring them up. It's as if he knows that they are already a part of our family already. DH and I are trying to soak up our last couple of months with Logan and our family of three, but our sweet, little four year old constantly reminds us that we have two brothers on the way.
Now, I am hoping that he adjusts well to them being here once they are born otherwise we may have some issues to sort out:)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
26 Week OB Appt and Funny Story
I had my 26 week OB appt yesterday and everything seems to be going well, except for one thing....I failed the one hour Glucose Test:( My level was supposed to be <140 and it was 169. I have made my appt to go to my local hospital to have the three hour Glucose Tolerance Test done next Wednesday, October 28, at 7:15am. After that I have an u/s at my OB office at 11:10.
Here are the other stats from my appt yesterday:
Blood Pressure: 108/50
Hemoglobin: 11.1 (I will have to go on iron supplements if it drops below 11)
Cervial Length: >4 (I will get a more correct measurement next week when I go in for my u/s)
Urine Test: no proteins and no UTI
Edema: mild
Weight Gain: 32 pounds
Baby A Heartbeat: 148
Baby B Heartbeat 136
I requested to have my urine tested at every appt and my OB agreed. I know too many people who have had preeclampsia and other similar complications so it is peace of mind for me and also a good thing to do since I am carrying twins.
I have been having slight pressure down low and vaginal pains for just over a week. She manual checked my cervix and it is still really long so she was not concerned. She did say that on my last u/s both babies heads were down low so it could be pressure from them pushing or just my belly growing more.
I asked her about H1.N1 shots and she said that they will not be in until early November. She wants me to call if I or DH and Logan have been exposed so that she can treat me with Tam.i.flu.
On to my funny story....
This afternoon I took Logan out to lunch to Sub.way. When we came out to the parking lot after we were done eating I put him in the back passenger side of the car. I walked around to the drivers side and realized that the person who parked next to me parked really close to my car. After looking at this small opening to get into my car, I decided that I would have to turn sideways and walk sideways to get to my car door. As I started doing this my back was touching the other persons car while my belly was touching my car. As I looked up at my car door again I realized that I was going to get stuck if I went any further. So, I pulled myself out from in-between both cars, went around to the passenger side to get Logan out of the car so that we could go back into Sub.way to ask whomever was driving this vehicle to move it over.
When I walked into Sub.way I must have looked like the biggest idiot ever asking people if they drove this car out in the parking lot. The third person I asked said that it was her car. She was apologizing profusely and saying that she had four kids and knows what being pregnant is all about. She immediately came out to move her car over since she was parked on the line and kept apologizing the whole time. I was laughing and told her not to apologize because I felt bad having to ask her to move her car and explained that I am pregnant with twins and that is the reason I am so huge. She was so nice and kind and it turned out to be the most hilarious thing!:) I mean, for heavens sake, me and my big, pregnant belly were stuck sideways between two cars, can you imagine?!?:)
Updated belly pic coming soon and shopping fun post too!
Here are the other stats from my appt yesterday:
Blood Pressure: 108/50
Hemoglobin: 11.1 (I will have to go on iron supplements if it drops below 11)
Cervial Length: >4 (I will get a more correct measurement next week when I go in for my u/s)
Urine Test: no proteins and no UTI
Edema: mild
Weight Gain: 32 pounds
Baby A Heartbeat: 148
Baby B Heartbeat 136
I requested to have my urine tested at every appt and my OB agreed. I know too many people who have had preeclampsia and other similar complications so it is peace of mind for me and also a good thing to do since I am carrying twins.
I have been having slight pressure down low and vaginal pains for just over a week. She manual checked my cervix and it is still really long so she was not concerned. She did say that on my last u/s both babies heads were down low so it could be pressure from them pushing or just my belly growing more.
I asked her about H1.N1 shots and she said that they will not be in until early November. She wants me to call if I or DH and Logan have been exposed so that she can treat me with Tam.i.flu.
On to my funny story....
This afternoon I took Logan out to lunch to Sub.way. When we came out to the parking lot after we were done eating I put him in the back passenger side of the car. I walked around to the drivers side and realized that the person who parked next to me parked really close to my car. After looking at this small opening to get into my car, I decided that I would have to turn sideways and walk sideways to get to my car door. As I started doing this my back was touching the other persons car while my belly was touching my car. As I looked up at my car door again I realized that I was going to get stuck if I went any further. So, I pulled myself out from in-between both cars, went around to the passenger side to get Logan out of the car so that we could go back into Sub.way to ask whomever was driving this vehicle to move it over.
When I walked into Sub.way I must have looked like the biggest idiot ever asking people if they drove this car out in the parking lot. The third person I asked said that it was her car. She was apologizing profusely and saying that she had four kids and knows what being pregnant is all about. She immediately came out to move her car over since she was parked on the line and kept apologizing the whole time. I was laughing and told her not to apologize because I felt bad having to ask her to move her car and explained that I am pregnant with twins and that is the reason I am so huge. She was so nice and kind and it turned out to be the most hilarious thing!:) I mean, for heavens sake, me and my big, pregnant belly were stuck sideways between two cars, can you imagine?!?:)
Updated belly pic coming soon and shopping fun post too!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Dreams
I woke up startled at 2:45 this morning. As I was making my way to the restroom, which I usually do several times each night, I started to remember the dream I was just having. I was in labor and DH was hunting 7 hours away. I called him and told him to hurry home. I ended up having my 7 year old son, Logan, drive me to the hospital. When I got to the hospital there was a queen size bed that they had me lie down on and put my feet up in imaginary stirrups. As soon as I did this, both babies were delivered vaginally within the same minute.
As I started to connect the dots of various events that have happened lately I began to calm down, but was still shaken.
For instance, DH was possibly supposed to go hunting in Nor.th Da.kota this weekend, 7 hours away. He was invited, but he never committed to it because we didn't know how I would be feeling at the time he was invited. We decided that it wasn't the best idea for him to go because of how tired I have been lately.
Then, just yesterday DH told Logan that he could drive the golf cart out to the woods behind our house (they are making a path out there to do "guy things" like ride the golf cart and sometime down the road DH wants to get a child snowmobile and four wheeler/ATV, which I am not too fond of....another post for another day:)). Logan told DH, "I can't drive it because I don't have a license". DH was explaining that he would sit next to him and help him and it was okay because they were not driving on the road.
And just last night DH and I were talking about the babies and our delivery. We were reminiscing on how long it took to deliver Logan (36 hours and then ended up having an emergency c-section). We were talking about how quick it takes to have a c-section.
Even though I know my dream was filling in the pieces of these recent conversations and events, I kept thinking about them. And then I started thinking about all things baby and Logan related. How will I feed two babies at the same time? How will I make sure that Logan gets enough attention? How will I get all three kids out of the house to bring Logan to preschool three days/week? And the list goes on...
Needless to say, I wasn't able to fall back asleep for an hour and didn't sleep well for the rest of the night. No matter how excited DH and I for these babies to arrive, we are also thinking about things unknown and how we will handle certain situations once they arrive. I am so thankful that DH always has something reassuring to say to me like, "we will just have to adjust. We adjusted with one baby before, now we will adjust with two babies". Even though this makes complete logical sense to me, I just want everything to be as good as can be when they are born. I have waited much too long for these babies and I want to savor every moment with them and watching Logan interact with his new brothers. Also, did I mention?...I am huge worrier too! :)
Is it January yet??
As I started to connect the dots of various events that have happened lately I began to calm down, but was still shaken.
For instance, DH was possibly supposed to go hunting in Nor.th Da.kota this weekend, 7 hours away. He was invited, but he never committed to it because we didn't know how I would be feeling at the time he was invited. We decided that it wasn't the best idea for him to go because of how tired I have been lately.
Then, just yesterday DH told Logan that he could drive the golf cart out to the woods behind our house (they are making a path out there to do "guy things" like ride the golf cart and sometime down the road DH wants to get a child snowmobile and four wheeler/ATV, which I am not too fond of....another post for another day:)). Logan told DH, "I can't drive it because I don't have a license". DH was explaining that he would sit next to him and help him and it was okay because they were not driving on the road.
And just last night DH and I were talking about the babies and our delivery. We were reminiscing on how long it took to deliver Logan (36 hours and then ended up having an emergency c-section). We were talking about how quick it takes to have a c-section.
Even though I know my dream was filling in the pieces of these recent conversations and events, I kept thinking about them. And then I started thinking about all things baby and Logan related. How will I feed two babies at the same time? How will I make sure that Logan gets enough attention? How will I get all three kids out of the house to bring Logan to preschool three days/week? And the list goes on...
Needless to say, I wasn't able to fall back asleep for an hour and didn't sleep well for the rest of the night. No matter how excited DH and I for these babies to arrive, we are also thinking about things unknown and how we will handle certain situations once they arrive. I am so thankful that DH always has something reassuring to say to me like, "we will just have to adjust. We adjusted with one baby before, now we will adjust with two babies". Even though this makes complete logical sense to me, I just want everything to be as good as can be when they are born. I have waited much too long for these babies and I want to savor every moment with them and watching Logan interact with his new brothers. Also, did I mention?...I am huge worrier too! :)
Is it January yet??
Monday, October 12, 2009
Awards!
Ahem. Ahem. Ahem!
I have been nominated for two blog awards in the past week. What an honor! Two awards in ONE week. Wow!
The Honest Scrap Award was given to me by Niki at My Journey to Myles and Beyond to Surrogacy.
The Kreative Blogger Award was given to me by Allison at Ramblings of a Healing Heart.
Both awards ask that I tell you some things about myself. I did the honest scrap award back in March so I will try to come up with a couple more new things to share about myself.
1. My DH and Logan are the most important people in my life (Duh!). They always have been, but I have realized a new, deeper way how much they impact my life after going through IF.
2. Somehow I always manage to let the weight of the world onto my shoulders. When I hear about tragically sad stories of people I know (Andy, his wife, Bri and their son, Leland) or people I don't know (news stories) I want to reach out and help them somehow, whether it be emotionally, physically, or financially. So far I haven't thought of a good way to do this without being creepy.
3. My sister and I can get into a huge fight about something and then be laughing together 5 minutes later.
4. My dad and I are a lot a like. We think the same way and are usually on the "same page". When we don't agree on something, although rare as it is, we can respectfully disagree with each other. Which I have found that most people say that they can "respectfully disagree", but they don't. They continue to argue their point until it is heard. I even have my dads ugly legs:)
5. I would have loved to have NOT gone through IF, but I did and have learned so much. Not only about myself, but about those around me.
6. DH and I brought Logan on an airplane to Florida for the first time when he was three months old. It was one of the best vacations ever. We met my ex-BFF D, her DH and their son down there. We hung out by the beach for the few days we were there, but we found that it was so easy to travel with an infant still in an infant car seat. It was the most spontaneous big thing we have ever done. We decided to go on a Saturday afternoon and we had to be to the airport at 6:00am the next day.
7. Even though I work from my home office and am self-employed, people assume that I am doing nothing. I think because I don't leave my house for work or that I am self-employed they think that I am just sitting around doing nothing and independently wealthy (yeah, right!).
8. There is an old argument about working moms vs. stay at home moms. I love being mostly a stay at home mom since I work odd hours for our two businesses. But I don't really care if other moms work or they stay at home with their kids just as long as they are good parents when they are with their kids.
9. I would love to figure out how to do a link in my blog from another website without having the whole web address come up. Kayjay gave me instructions awhile back, but somehow I can't figure it out. As soon as someone tells me how to do it, I will nominate others for these awards (so please leave me a comment with step-by-step instructions!).
10. Three of my biological grandparents passed away by the time I turned 16. My remaining grandparent, whom my family was not close to, died 7 months before DH and I were married. Often times when I hear of others talking about their grandparents I feel a sense of loss. I cherish the memories I have of my grandparents and hope that my children will have their grandparents around for many years to come. When I graduated from high school and when I was married I so wished they could have been with me on these two special days in my life. It makes me sad that my DH and my children will never know my grandparents.
I have been nominated for two blog awards in the past week. What an honor! Two awards in ONE week. Wow!
The Honest Scrap Award was given to me by Niki at My Journey to Myles and Beyond to Surrogacy.
The Kreative Blogger Award was given to me by Allison at Ramblings of a Healing Heart.
Both awards ask that I tell you some things about myself. I did the honest scrap award back in March so I will try to come up with a couple more new things to share about myself.
1. My DH and Logan are the most important people in my life (Duh!). They always have been, but I have realized a new, deeper way how much they impact my life after going through IF.
2. Somehow I always manage to let the weight of the world onto my shoulders. When I hear about tragically sad stories of people I know (Andy, his wife, Bri and their son, Leland) or people I don't know (news stories) I want to reach out and help them somehow, whether it be emotionally, physically, or financially. So far I haven't thought of a good way to do this without being creepy.
3. My sister and I can get into a huge fight about something and then be laughing together 5 minutes later.
4. My dad and I are a lot a like. We think the same way and are usually on the "same page". When we don't agree on something, although rare as it is, we can respectfully disagree with each other. Which I have found that most people say that they can "respectfully disagree", but they don't. They continue to argue their point until it is heard. I even have my dads ugly legs:)
5. I would have loved to have NOT gone through IF, but I did and have learned so much. Not only about myself, but about those around me.
6. DH and I brought Logan on an airplane to Florida for the first time when he was three months old. It was one of the best vacations ever. We met my ex-BFF D, her DH and their son down there. We hung out by the beach for the few days we were there, but we found that it was so easy to travel with an infant still in an infant car seat. It was the most spontaneous big thing we have ever done. We decided to go on a Saturday afternoon and we had to be to the airport at 6:00am the next day.
7. Even though I work from my home office and am self-employed, people assume that I am doing nothing. I think because I don't leave my house for work or that I am self-employed they think that I am just sitting around doing nothing and independently wealthy (yeah, right!).
8. There is an old argument about working moms vs. stay at home moms. I love being mostly a stay at home mom since I work odd hours for our two businesses. But I don't really care if other moms work or they stay at home with their kids just as long as they are good parents when they are with their kids.
9. I would love to figure out how to do a link in my blog from another website without having the whole web address come up. Kayjay gave me instructions awhile back, but somehow I can't figure it out. As soon as someone tells me how to do it, I will nominate others for these awards (so please leave me a comment with step-by-step instructions!).
10. Three of my biological grandparents passed away by the time I turned 16. My remaining grandparent, whom my family was not close to, died 7 months before DH and I were married. Often times when I hear of others talking about their grandparents I feel a sense of loss. I cherish the memories I have of my grandparents and hope that my children will have their grandparents around for many years to come. When I graduated from high school and when I was married I so wished they could have been with me on these two special days in my life. It makes me sad that my DH and my children will never know my grandparents.
As soon as someone tells me how to link properly, I will be nominating others for these AWESOME awards!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Meeting With The Pediatrician
Today DH and I met with the pediatrician who will be caring for the babies. Our family practice doctor, Dr K, who we have seen in the past for Logan and whom DH and I go to has changed positions and is now working as a hospitalist at our local hospital rather than working in our family practice clinic. Before she left, she gave me a recommendation on who to have the babies seen by.
Our appt with Dr B went really well. He is younger, down to earth and seems like he is pretty easy going, which is right up our alley. We had a few questions for him and he answered all of them with ease and confidence, while instilling in us the important stuff.
For example: when we had Logan I breast-fed him for a short period of time and then we switched him to Sim.il.ac formula. I asked Dr B what recommendations he had for us for formula-feeding these babies. I had heard from M (a fellow blogger and IFer who lives in MN with me) that the Tar.get brand formula is pretty much the same as the other big brands, but at roughly half the price. When I asked Dr B about this specifically he said that if he were shopping for formula he would go by price. He said that some of the formula brands tout certain things like "comfort proteins" or similar things, but that all of the formulas are pretty much the same. DH and I feel the same way. The only thing he cautioned is to pick a formula and stick with it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I want the best for our babies, but I also think there is a whole lot of "hype" that goes into certain things baby-related where they try to instill fear in new parents. Formula always seems to be one of them. It sometimes seems that they want you to believe that if you use their competitors brand of formula, that your baby won't thrive and grow. Which, IMHO, is not true. We, as parents, have so many things to worry about and I just don't think that choosing the "right" formula should be one of them. Choosing formula can really be no different than choosing to eat an apple or an orange on any given day for adults. I don't say this to discourage anyone and what they believe about certain baby-related things or to be an expert on formula. This is simply my take on this particular item. Each family needs to decide what is right for them and do what makes the most sense to them.
OK, so I have jumped off of my soap box and have safely landed back on the ground:)
We talked a lot about what will happen after they are born and when he or one of his associates will see the babies in the hospital. He explained that the on-call/rounding physician will come within 24 hours after the babies are born and they will be there every day that we are in the hospital. Once we go home they will tell us when to make the babies next appt at the clinic to make sure they are up to their birth weight
I am so glad that we had the chance to meet with Dr B before the babies are born. Even though I am really sad that our family practice doctor is no longer a clinic physician, I am glad that she referred us to another great physician. And, Dr K is a hospitalist at the hospital that we will be delivering at. When she left our clinic, she gave me her cell phone number to call her whenever. She lives just a couple of miles from us and her kids go to the elementary school that Logan goes to so I am sure I will see her again. And, I will for surely be calling her when the babies are born so that she can come meet our boys since she will be at the hospital anyways.
Our appt with Dr B went really well. He is younger, down to earth and seems like he is pretty easy going, which is right up our alley. We had a few questions for him and he answered all of them with ease and confidence, while instilling in us the important stuff.
For example: when we had Logan I breast-fed him for a short period of time and then we switched him to Sim.il.ac formula. I asked Dr B what recommendations he had for us for formula-feeding these babies. I had heard from M (a fellow blogger and IFer who lives in MN with me) that the Tar.get brand formula is pretty much the same as the other big brands, but at roughly half the price. When I asked Dr B about this specifically he said that if he were shopping for formula he would go by price. He said that some of the formula brands tout certain things like "comfort proteins" or similar things, but that all of the formulas are pretty much the same. DH and I feel the same way. The only thing he cautioned is to pick a formula and stick with it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I want the best for our babies, but I also think there is a whole lot of "hype" that goes into certain things baby-related where they try to instill fear in new parents. Formula always seems to be one of them. It sometimes seems that they want you to believe that if you use their competitors brand of formula, that your baby won't thrive and grow. Which, IMHO, is not true. We, as parents, have so many things to worry about and I just don't think that choosing the "right" formula should be one of them. Choosing formula can really be no different than choosing to eat an apple or an orange on any given day for adults. I don't say this to discourage anyone and what they believe about certain baby-related things or to be an expert on formula. This is simply my take on this particular item. Each family needs to decide what is right for them and do what makes the most sense to them.
OK, so I have jumped off of my soap box and have safely landed back on the ground:)
We talked a lot about what will happen after they are born and when he or one of his associates will see the babies in the hospital. He explained that the on-call/rounding physician will come within 24 hours after the babies are born and they will be there every day that we are in the hospital. Once we go home they will tell us when to make the babies next appt at the clinic to make sure they are up to their birth weight
I am so glad that we had the chance to meet with Dr B before the babies are born. Even though I am really sad that our family practice doctor is no longer a clinic physician, I am glad that she referred us to another great physician. And, Dr K is a hospitalist at the hospital that we will be delivering at. When she left our clinic, she gave me her cell phone number to call her whenever. She lives just a couple of miles from us and her kids go to the elementary school that Logan goes to so I am sure I will see her again. And, I will for surely be calling her when the babies are born so that she can come meet our boys since she will be at the hospital anyways.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Update: Ex-BFF, D
I have been thinking about this topic for awhile now and am finally trying to write out my thoughts. Sorry if this post is all over the place:)
A few weeks ago I mentioned my ex-BFF, D, in a blog post here: http://lookingforanotherangel.blogspot.com/2009/08/advice-needed.html
A couple of days later we went to Logan's preschool for a back-to-school open house and I did see D there. I walked up to her and said, "Hi!". She turned and when she saw me she instantly smiled. I confirmed that she had gotten my voice mail and she explained that things had been really crazy at her house and that she had not had a chance to call back. I was able to see her middle son and her newborn baby boy. She asked how things were going for us with our pregnancy, rubbed my belly a few times and told me how happy she was for us several times. It was a really nice little chat. As I got into the car to leave with DH and Logan, DH and I were talking about how it went. I told him that it was fine and told him about our conversation. He responded, "So, you pretty much talked like you were old friends again?", I said, "Yep, pretty much".
At that time I had no further plans to make contact with her. Sure, it was nice seeing her there, but sometimes things have to work themselves out the way they were meant to be [side note: IF is not one thing that I believe that works out the way it is meant to be. I think it is a really crappy and horrible thing that happens to the best of people....whole new subject for another post!].
Fast forward a couple of weeks to when I went to the wake/visitation for Bri Her.oux which I posted about here: http://lookingforanotherangel.blogspot.com/2009/09/update-wakevisitation.html When I got home from the wake, DH had told me that he went over to D's house with Logan on our golf cart (they live about 5 minutes from us) to look at their septic system that they were having problems with (DH is a sewer, water, septic and excavation contractor). He said that D came out right away and gave him a hug and was happy to see him and he was able to see all of their kids. He took their two oldest kids on a golf cart ride down their street. D's DH and my DH talked for a bit before DH and Logan headed home (my DH and her DH went to high school together and that is how I met D).
As I posted about, I was a mess when I was at the wake and then when I got home from the wake and saw DH and Logan, I started crying again because I am just so thankful to have them. As the evening wore on, he was telling me about their trip over to ex-BFFs house and this got me thinking. If my ex-boyfriend, Andy, and I can have a special place in our hearts for each other and still have limited contact after we broke-up 10 years ago, why can't I do the same with D?
I remember when Andy and I broke-up, it was horrible. We had been dating for 3 1/2 years and we thought that we would be married someday. It was a mutual decision for us to break-up and one that turned out to be the best decision, but it was hard. I thought my world was going to end without him in it. And even though both his and my heart were shattered into a million little pieces, we moved on. But there was always this pact that we made when we first started dating that has remained in my head for the last 10 years and will continue to remain there. Our pact was that no matter what happened with our relationship, we would always remain friends. That is why, over the past 10 years, we have maintained limited contact with one another and why I ultimately decided to go to his beloved wife's wake.
And D is really no different. We were really good friends for quite some time. We took family vacations together, we got together on the weekends with our families for impromptu dinners, we did girly stuff together while our guys did man stuff together, our kids played together, we knew each others families and really, they were truly an expansion of our family. They were so much a part of our lives that when our friendship ended it was painful and heart-breaking. Who would I call every day to chat with? Who would I express my frustrations to? Who did I believe would have my back, no matter what? (Of course, DH filled these roles anyways, but it was nice to have another woman's perspective). She had a special place in my heart and when we were no longer friends, my heart was broken and sad.
So, I decided to call her the day after Bri's wake. I knew that I didn't want to leave things the way they were forever. Life isn't fair and after what happened to Bri, I wanted to be on good terms with D again. When I called her she was receptive to my phone call and it wasn't at all awkward. I told her that I had gone to a wake and it made me think about some things. I explained that I didn't have the need to go back and hash out what had happened in the past, but rather I wanted to move forward with our friendship, whatever that means. I also said that I don't have a plan for how our friendship will be in the future. We agreed that things were said and done that could not be taken back. She agreed that she wanted to go to school functions for our kids and not have there be any awkwardness between us. All in all, it was a good conversation. I told her that she has a special place in my heart and she said the same about me. We ended it by her saying that we will have to get together for dinner soon.
I haven't heard from her since. And it is okay. I am sure that our paths will cross again and it will be just fine. We will be able to greet each other and have a pleasant conversation, rather than trying to avoid each other. If she is ever in a bind or needs support, I will be there for her because she has a special place in my heart. Just as I was for Andy when his wife passed away.
You never know how life will turn out. But when you find people who mean something to you and have a special place in your heart, even though you have differences, it is okay. If D and I become better friends again in the future, that would be nice, but it will also be okay if things remain the same. What is meant to be, will be.
Another lesson learned brought to you by IF. (insert sarcasm) At least I can thank our IF for some good things. Blah.
A few weeks ago I mentioned my ex-BFF, D, in a blog post here: http://lookingforanotherangel.blogspot.com/2009/08/advice-needed.html
A couple of days later we went to Logan's preschool for a back-to-school open house and I did see D there. I walked up to her and said, "Hi!". She turned and when she saw me she instantly smiled. I confirmed that she had gotten my voice mail and she explained that things had been really crazy at her house and that she had not had a chance to call back. I was able to see her middle son and her newborn baby boy. She asked how things were going for us with our pregnancy, rubbed my belly a few times and told me how happy she was for us several times. It was a really nice little chat. As I got into the car to leave with DH and Logan, DH and I were talking about how it went. I told him that it was fine and told him about our conversation. He responded, "So, you pretty much talked like you were old friends again?", I said, "Yep, pretty much".
At that time I had no further plans to make contact with her. Sure, it was nice seeing her there, but sometimes things have to work themselves out the way they were meant to be [side note: IF is not one thing that I believe that works out the way it is meant to be. I think it is a really crappy and horrible thing that happens to the best of people....whole new subject for another post!].
Fast forward a couple of weeks to when I went to the wake/visitation for Bri Her.oux which I posted about here: http://lookingforanotherangel.blogspot.com/2009/09/update-wakevisitation.html When I got home from the wake, DH had told me that he went over to D's house with Logan on our golf cart (they live about 5 minutes from us) to look at their septic system that they were having problems with (DH is a sewer, water, septic and excavation contractor). He said that D came out right away and gave him a hug and was happy to see him and he was able to see all of their kids. He took their two oldest kids on a golf cart ride down their street. D's DH and my DH talked for a bit before DH and Logan headed home (my DH and her DH went to high school together and that is how I met D).
As I posted about, I was a mess when I was at the wake and then when I got home from the wake and saw DH and Logan, I started crying again because I am just so thankful to have them. As the evening wore on, he was telling me about their trip over to ex-BFFs house and this got me thinking. If my ex-boyfriend, Andy, and I can have a special place in our hearts for each other and still have limited contact after we broke-up 10 years ago, why can't I do the same with D?
I remember when Andy and I broke-up, it was horrible. We had been dating for 3 1/2 years and we thought that we would be married someday. It was a mutual decision for us to break-up and one that turned out to be the best decision, but it was hard. I thought my world was going to end without him in it. And even though both his and my heart were shattered into a million little pieces, we moved on. But there was always this pact that we made when we first started dating that has remained in my head for the last 10 years and will continue to remain there. Our pact was that no matter what happened with our relationship, we would always remain friends. That is why, over the past 10 years, we have maintained limited contact with one another and why I ultimately decided to go to his beloved wife's wake.
And D is really no different. We were really good friends for quite some time. We took family vacations together, we got together on the weekends with our families for impromptu dinners, we did girly stuff together while our guys did man stuff together, our kids played together, we knew each others families and really, they were truly an expansion of our family. They were so much a part of our lives that when our friendship ended it was painful and heart-breaking. Who would I call every day to chat with? Who would I express my frustrations to? Who did I believe would have my back, no matter what? (Of course, DH filled these roles anyways, but it was nice to have another woman's perspective). She had a special place in my heart and when we were no longer friends, my heart was broken and sad.
So, I decided to call her the day after Bri's wake. I knew that I didn't want to leave things the way they were forever. Life isn't fair and after what happened to Bri, I wanted to be on good terms with D again. When I called her she was receptive to my phone call and it wasn't at all awkward. I told her that I had gone to a wake and it made me think about some things. I explained that I didn't have the need to go back and hash out what had happened in the past, but rather I wanted to move forward with our friendship, whatever that means. I also said that I don't have a plan for how our friendship will be in the future. We agreed that things were said and done that could not be taken back. She agreed that she wanted to go to school functions for our kids and not have there be any awkwardness between us. All in all, it was a good conversation. I told her that she has a special place in my heart and she said the same about me. We ended it by her saying that we will have to get together for dinner soon.
I haven't heard from her since. And it is okay. I am sure that our paths will cross again and it will be just fine. We will be able to greet each other and have a pleasant conversation, rather than trying to avoid each other. If she is ever in a bind or needs support, I will be there for her because she has a special place in my heart. Just as I was for Andy when his wife passed away.
You never know how life will turn out. But when you find people who mean something to you and have a special place in your heart, even though you have differences, it is okay. If D and I become better friends again in the future, that would be nice, but it will also be okay if things remain the same. What is meant to be, will be.
Another lesson learned brought to you by IF. (insert sarcasm) At least I can thank our IF for some good things. Blah.
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