M and I were talking on Christmas Eve about flying out to Colorado for our one day work-up. We were thinking of different options on what to do with L since I have this weird fear about getting on plane without L. We found from our friends on IVFC some great options for drop-in daycare in the Denver area, we talked about bringing someone out there with us to watch him for the day and then M and I discussed the thought of actually getting on the plane, just the two of us, and leaving L home with a family member. My dear husband said so many rational things to me about getting on the plane by ourselves without L and calmed a lot of my fears. I know that it is not likely that our plane will crash and that millions of people fly all of the time and are fine. I also know that if our plane crashed that I would not want L on the plane. One of my fears is leaving him without his parents. Now, I know that we have chosen awesome family members who would be great parents to him if something were to happen to M and I. However, for as much as we have gone through to try to have #2, if has made me more fearful of different situations concerning L. One of my other fears is of not being in control and trusting that the pilot will get us there safely (as if I could do a better job, LOL!!). After talking for some time about leaving L home and my dear husband calming my fears, we decided yesterday to ask some family members if L could stay with them or if they could bring him to daycare for the day that we will be gone in Colorado. Now, I just need to continue to trust that everything will be okay.
I have been wanting a Cricut for scrapbooking for a LONG time. I keep looking at them (and their price tag) and keep telling myself and M that I will get one when we have another baby. I have already done four scrapbooks for L and I need to start cutting back on his albums because I don't know how much he will appreciate getting 18 albums by the time he is 18:) I still have our wedding album to do too, but that Cricut is so darn expensive and then you have to buy the cartridges and accessories. Well, wouldn't you know it, M got me the Cricut Expressions for Christmas! As I was opening it and all of the cartridges and accessories to go with it M was explaining to me what everything was (thanks to a very helpful salesperson at JoAnn's) and I stopped him mid-sentence in a panic and said, "what if we don't have another baby, then what will I scrapbook?". He looked at me and said, "we will have another baby and besides you still have our wedding album to do and more pictures of L and this machine does way more that just scrapbook stuff." His reassurances and rational explanation was all I needed to actually enjoy the AWESOME present he gave me!
A BIG thank you to my dear husband, M! You put up with all of my irrational thoughts and fears and are always able to calm me down by your thoughtful words and your very funny sense of humor! I love you to pieces!