Monday, February 2, 2009

Blah Day

I got home yesterday from scrapbooking and was exhausted! I got so much done and stayed up way too late, but it was worth it. We had an AWESOME group of girls that went and we are planning on going again in September. I was really excited to go and keep my mind occupied and off of our IF. Shortly after we arrived there the owner and her daughter showed up to bring a couple of things to make our accommodations complete. And wouldn't you know it, her daughter was pregnant. That aside, we had a blast and laughed SO much. I also found out that one of the gals that was there has twin boys from IVF. I had never met her before this weekend. We talked for a long time on Thursday night and I found out that she went to my same local clinic. Small world! She got pregnant on her 3rd cycle (she signed up for the warranty program too) and had been TTC for 8 years.

I woke up this morning at 6:00 to a big thud. Poor L feel out of bed. He has a queen size bed in his room, but every once in a while he manages to fall out. He came running into my room crying and crawled in bed with me to cuddle. He didn't have any bumps or bruises, thankfully, but what a yucky way to start his day.

All day today I have been feeling really "blah". I know I am still tired from my weekend away, but I just feel like I am about to lose it. We went to the library today for story time and there was a gal there who was pregnant the last time we went (we usually go every Monday with my friend, L, but we haven't been there since before Christmas since we have been busy with the holidays and then our other plans). Today she had her beautiful newborn baby. Yet another pregnancy that I have watched go by in the time that I have been TTC.

This afternoon while L was napping I decided that I needed to clean out my craft/catch all closet. I decided to throw away a bunch of cards from L's past birthdays and baby showers. I had so many that I decided to just keep the handmade ones. As I was looking at all of the shower and baby cards I just got so sad. I remembered how happy I was then. I had such anticipation, excitement and joy. Even when I was at the end of my pregnancy with L and I had 15 pounds of fluid in my legs, I was still a happy pregnant person. I wish I were that person still.

This evening L had swimming lessons and I took him by myself as DH is out of town overnight ice fishing. I have not taken him yet this session since we were in AZ the first week, DH took him the second week so I could work in our home office and my parents took him last week while we were in CO. I got L all ready and then brought him to his class in the pool and then found a chair to sit to watch him swim. And, wouldn't you know it, but a pregnant woman comes and sits down right next to me. As she sat down I followed her gaze and I see that the class next to L's class in the pool is the "Waterbabies" class. Yep, with about 15 babies and their parents. I just about lost it and called DH and asked him why he didn't give me a heads up that this class was going on at the same time. He felt bad and didn't remember that I had not been there yet for this swim session.

I hope that I will wake up tomorrow and not feel so "blah".

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