[Side note: I will be posting u/s pics soon. I am a bit technologically challenged so my DH and I are going to sit down soon to figure out my scanner and my new camera soon.]
I have always wanted twins. Not just since I started going to IF, but since forever I have wanted twins. When I pregnant with L I would ask my doctor every time we went in for an appt if she was sure there was only one baby in my belly. Even when I had a 36 week u/s to make sure that my anterior placenta had moved away from my cervix, I asked the u/s technician to confirm that there were not two babies in my belly. You see, twins run in my family and in my DHs family so I thought for sure that I was destined to have twins of my own.
Now that I am pregnant with twins, I am a bit terrified (ok terrified is a strong word, but maybe a little worried) of having them. I am a huge worry wart so my first worry is that they will be born far too soon and that my body won't be able to handle both babies. L was 9lb 4.2oz when he was born so I know my body can handle the "weight" and I had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy with him, but I know that so much more can go wrong with two babies.
I am also worried that both of the babies will be "cry babies". L was such a good baby from the get-go. He was really mild tempered,unless he was hungry (although who could blame him since he was so well-nourished when he was born), and not colicky at all (despite have severe acid reflux). He has always been such a good boy, really, and I'm not just saying that because I am his Mom. I am worried that his siblings we be more shall we say "difficult" since I had such an easy baby the first time around.
I am worried about taking three children out for play dates by myself and that they will all need me at the same time and I won't be able to help all of them simultaneously. I am worried that I will be so sleep-deprived that I won't be doing a good job of being a Mom. I am worried that when the babies become toddlers that they will both be running in different directions and I will have to choose which one to go after.
I know I should not be comparing L to his siblings and this is something that I am going to try really hard not to do as I go along in the pregnancy and when the babies arrive. Every one, no matter how big or small, is different.
As I was discussing my worries with my DH two nights ago he was, and always is, the voice of reason: "we will be fine', "I will be home with you in the winter so there will be two of us here to help us get adjusted", "I can go without a lot of sleep so if you are tired you don't have to get up with the babies", "you are a great Mom already and you will with these babies as well", "we were worried about adjusting to life with L and everything turned out fine, and we will do the same with these babies". Ah, the voice of reason is like music to my ears.
And, no matter how worried I am, I am ecstatic, joyful, and excited too. I told DH that I still feel like I am in shock because we are not only having a baby, we are having two babies. I can't believe I am this lucky to be sitting here with two babies in my belly. How can I possibly deserve this much happiness?