Cruel Joke

I went in to my local RE today to have my b/w drawn. They only wanted to check my progesterone and not LH. My primary doc can do both progesterone and LH, but it takes two days to get the results. So, I stuck with my local RE and just did my progesterone and I hope CCRM is okay with it. My progesterone came back at 2.3, which indicates that I have not even ovulated yet, ugh! I am so p*ssed at my body right now, in fact, I don't think that I have ever been this mad at it- even through all of my BFNs. I have NEVER been more than one day late for AF-EVER! Now, I am trying to coordinate and my plan my trip to CO so that I can end my IF journey and she doesn't show up. It like a cruel joke, honestly!

Up until this morning I had no hope that I conceived naturally, but this morning that spiteful thing called "hope" started creeping in. In my head I knew that a natural conception would not happen at this point so I kept pushing it out of my head- thankfully. Imagine if I had my hot air balloon inflated with that "hope" sh*t how devastated would I be right now?

Oh no, now I am just p*ssed. I just REALLY wanted this month to go smoothly. I felt like I was truly enjoying life and was completely fine with AF arriving this month and was looking forward to getting started at CCRM so that I can end our IF journey this year. Now, everything is messed up again. I feel like I have been planning my life around our IF for so long that when this journey is over I don't know if I will be able to live normally again. It is all just so frustrating and irritating. If I wasn't so p*ssed, I would be laughing because it is just so incredulous to me that my body just does not want to cooperate, no matter what.

Anyways, I have been prescribed Provera by local RE to induce AF. I have to take it every night for 10 days and then AF should arrive 1-2 weeks after I stop it. That is another 17-24 days before the wicked witch will come, hopefully. Yippee, I get to take more meds (insert sarcasm).

Oh, and I left a voice mail for the nurse at CCRM so that I can get her instructions, hopefully they are the same as my local RE. Working with two RE's is really interesting....